The Problem with Nutrisystem
It’s
called the freshman 15; but I am no longer a freshman in college and the 15
pounds have now turned into about 25.
I’d blame it on the nesting phenomenon, but I’ve been married over 3
years, so I just have to take responsibility for the extra weight that has
taken up permanent residence on my ass.
I
decided to start with Weight Watchers, as I had witnessed a colleague of mine
trim down for her wedding. She had great
results – why couldn’t I too. The first
15 pounds came off in about 3 months. My
husband also decided to diet and lost 30 pounds in the same time frame – what a
jerk! He switches to light beer and eats
one less helping of mayonnaise and loses thirty pounds, while I have to
severely restrict my caloric intake and drink enough water to fill an aquarium. I’m not bitter.
After those first
15 pounds, Weight Watchers just stopped working. I tried all the suggestions for plateaus and
exercised more, but I just could not break through the 15 pound mark. Then, I saw the commercial. 50% off Nutrisystem for a limited time – 28
days of “rib sticking meals” for the low price of around 160 bucks. Sold.
I’m
excited – I just need to lose 10 more pounds and Nutrisystem is going to get me
to my goal weight. The box is delivered
to my doorstep and I unpack all my goodies.
It looks great on the package – I’ve got pizza, ravioli, and tortellini
– how bad could it be?
Day 1 – The Menu
Breakfast – Blueberry Muffin – the consistency of dry cornbread
with a hint of soy
Lunch – Tortellini – apparently the chef inspired meals they
advertise come from Chef Boyardee – actually I’d prefer Chef Boyardee to this
Dinner – Thick Crust Pizza – this has to be good – it’s pizza. Well this is what they advertise:
This is what you get:
How small is that serving utensil
to get an actual slice out of this “pizza.”
Dessert: Golden Pound Cake – Blueberry Muffin without the Blueberry
and not in the shape of a muffin.
On a side note – you also have to
add in fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as some dairy or protein – which
was the only thing I looked forward to in my day.
I
really was not expecting the food to taste that bad. Maybe I just needed to try some of the
different food items I had ordered. So
the next day I decided to try the rotini with meat balls for my dinner entrée. In retrospect, I should have just thrown the
whole meal in the toilet and cut out the middle man.
I
was reassured that the stomach pains would stop after the first couple of days
– I had, after all, been increasing my normal intake of fiber and my body was
adjusting to the Low Glycemic Index food.
Okay – I can deal with that.
Along with my helping of fruit I threw down some TUMS too, just to take
the edge off. After seven days on the
program, however, I still had mind numbing stomach pains. It wasn’t until I started reading the ingredient
list that I realized why.
I
was diagnosed as gluten intolerant when I was sixteen. Eventually was deemed that I was not
intolerant, just had sensitivity to gluten.
Reviewing some of the ingredient lists showed that several of the food
items first ingredients were gluten products.
There’s my answer for the stomach pains.
After a week I stepped on the scale and had lost 4 pounds. After thinking about it though, spending
three hours a day in the bathroom emptying out my digestive system would have
probably had the same result without eating the horrible food. Was it Nutrisystem or just complete
dehydration?
I
stuck with it, cramps and all, and almost embarrassing photo finishes to the
ladies room. When my 28 days of food were
up I was going to eat very conservatively and try to maintain my weight
loss. The first four pounds was all I
lost in the whole 28 days. By
Nutrisystem guidelines you are supposed to lose 1-2 pounds a week so I guess it
worked. I went off the program and in
the matter of two days gained all four pounds back. Guess I should have said no to the grilled
chicken and vegetables and just went straight for the jalapeno poppers and
cheese sticks for all the good it did me.
What
I found in this month long adventure is that Nutrisystem does work, as long as
you want to eat horrible food for the rest of your life and never need to be
more than 3 feet from a bathroom stall.
The plan is what I like to call “black-box.” They tell you it is a Low Glycemic Index diet,
but they never really give you all the details.
I had to look it up online. They
also do nothing to prepare you for getting off the program, because they don’t
want you to ever be off the program. I
get it – they want to make money. For
the people out there that Nutrisystem has worked for – I salute you!
I have decided to
return to Weight Watchers. I may have
hit a massive plateau, but at least I can eat foods I like that will not chip
the porcelain in my newly renovated bathroom (see next column – The Problem
with Doing-It-Yourself).
